Yesterday we went to the mall for dinner and the traffic all the way there was like some sort of horrible moving parking lot. It was insane. It is interesting to be back here in India - it is more ... exotic than I remembered. I do enjoy knowing my way around a bit and not having everything be a surprise. I also have a new motto: "shower when the water is hot." It isn't always hot, so I am not wasting any opportunities from now on.
CNN left yesterday after saying a brief goodbye. I am not going to lie - I am sort of sorry we agreed to do the TV thing. I am suspicious that the story is going to be negative and that I am going to look like a deluded idiot. I have been struggling with it for the last few days and it has been bringing me down. I guess my concerns are: 1) that Cash really has made progress from the stem cells, but I will look bad on TV anyway, or 2) that I am indeed a deluded idiot. Earlier today, I feared the latter. Tonight, I feel better, at least in part because Cash is doing so well. I look back on his progress after our last trip and I just can't help it: I believe that Cash improved in a bunch of areas in the weeks and months after. And now, while I don't see anything major, he is definitely flourishing. He exhibited some semi-new behaviors today, like brushing my hair, tickling Gramma, some manipulation of his fingers working on his fine motor skills, trying to sign for "poo", and attempting to connect the dots on his iPad. I was feeling sad the other day about just how disabled Cash is, but I don't think that means we should give up on him. It is important that we still try to get whatever progress we can for him and that we have expectations for him. I cannot be sure that the stem cells themselves have helped or will help him, but I can be sure that the whole process has been beneficial for him. So I am going to stop agonizing about CNN and enjoy our journey.
CNN left yesterday after saying a brief goodbye. I am not going to lie - I am sort of sorry we agreed to do the TV thing. I am suspicious that the story is going to be negative and that I am going to look like a deluded idiot. I have been struggling with it for the last few days and it has been bringing me down. I guess my concerns are: 1) that Cash really has made progress from the stem cells, but I will look bad on TV anyway, or 2) that I am indeed a deluded idiot. Earlier today, I feared the latter. Tonight, I feel better, at least in part because Cash is doing so well. I look back on his progress after our last trip and I just can't help it: I believe that Cash improved in a bunch of areas in the weeks and months after. And now, while I don't see anything major, he is definitely flourishing. He exhibited some semi-new behaviors today, like brushing my hair, tickling Gramma, some manipulation of his fingers working on his fine motor skills, trying to sign for "poo", and attempting to connect the dots on his iPad. I was feeling sad the other day about just how disabled Cash is, but I don't think that means we should give up on him. It is important that we still try to get whatever progress we can for him and that we have expectations for him. I cannot be sure that the stem cells themselves have helped or will help him, but I can be sure that the whole process has been beneficial for him. So I am going to stop agonizing about CNN and enjoy our journey.
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